The Trouble with BBM

I love my "Crackberry".  I will argue with any iPhone or Android user about my devices superiority to theirs anywhere, anytime, anyplace.  While I am enamored with my device, I could slap the taste out of the mouth of many of it's users.

Blackberry Messenger is a great communication tool.  The best as far as mobile phones go in my book.  I use it often to network, send and receive files and of course to communicate with friends and groups.  I even use it from time to time as an advertising tool.

Many BBM users abuse the technology, however.  There are so many levels to the problem.  The biggest problem is when you have a fairly significant number of contacts and you start falling victim to the broadcast messages.  They come in all flavors but here are some of the worst offenders:

Mr. Lover Lover

This is the guy that uses BBM to fish for dates.  He's usually broadcasting his PIN 3 or 4 times a day urging "sexy ladies only" to add him.  He's a spectacular douche bag.  He honestly believes that he is just that damn special.  The most egregious of the Mr. Lover Lover club UNDOUBTEDLY have a picture of their 'roided out abdomen as their avatar.  He also insists that he is entirely heterosexual even though he loves to point out how other males who happen to sneak their way onto his sexy ladies only contact list don't meet his standard for what a good looking male is.  What the hell?

Ms. Provacative Yet Hypersensitive

This is the girl that Mr. Lover Lover is fishing for.  She has a picture of herself in her avatar in something skimpy.  Bent over, bust out, over glossed lips and a status message that reads something like, "model/actress/singer/songwriter.  im bout my bizness and nuttin else"  Her typos; not mine.  She hates when Mr. Lover Lover tries to work his cell phone mackin' magic on her.  She then returns fire with a broadcast of her own letting EVERYONE know that she hates Mr. Lover Lover and suggests to him to #killyoself.  Deleting Mr. Lover Lover is far too difficult for her because she needs those numbers so she can feel important.

The C.E.O. of a Company You Never Heard Of

This character can be male of female but most frequently is male.  He is the "Boss of All Bosses" according to his status message and he's been in the business for 10 years minimum.....doing absolutely nothing.  Well, I can't say nothing.  He's been promoting wack rappers' mixtapes for those 10 years on his go-nowhere "record label".  He will blast you 5 or more times a day about some lame rapper and how they are constantly working on the greatest song you'll never hear.

The Moron

This is the person that keeps sending you the blast from Ana L. Retentive and other very important people at RIM who are so confident in their product that they use it to tell you important things instead of their website.  Usually it's that if you don't blast their message to all of your contacts, you will lose all of them within 24 hours.  The Moron often apologizes as they send you this message saying, "Better safe than sorry."  They should apologize for being so stupid.


The last 2 days have been especially bad days and I deleted several of each of these characters from my contact list.  They almost make me want to crossover to an Android phone.  Almost is not quite good enough though.  I still LOVE my Blackberry!

Aleise - "Blackberry"

I don't know why I'm just hearing about this, but better late than never....right?

Someone sent this to me via Blackberry Messenger. After poking around on the net it seems that the song was originally recorded by Warner Brothers recording artist Tynisha Keli.  I'm posting this version 1. because it came to me first and 2. because it's just that good. 

I love antagonizing my friends that own the iPhone and this just adds more fuel to my fire.  We got our own song!

I'm Addicted...

To my Blackberry.  I am 100% "Crackberry" addict.

Today, I did something I've never done before.  I left my Blackberry at home.  (FYI, it's a Tour.)  I was scatterbrained this morning on my way to work and I took off without my cell phone OR my wallet.    I noticed I left my phone right away but I would have been late if I went back upstairs to get it.  I thought I could handle a day without it.  I didn't realize I left my wallet until I wanted to step out with a coworker to go get some donuts much later in the day.  That ticked me off because I had to borrow two dollars to get donuts.  I don't carry any cash with me to work.  If you've been reading my blog, you know that I'm an impulse buyer.  I don't carry cash because I will spend every cent in my pocket on random crap in the vending machine if I do.  This is all beside the point though....

After about 2 hours into work, I started getting the itch.  I found myself reaching, out of pure habit, for my phone to see if my little red light was blinking.  It was pathetic.  Once would have been OK.  We are creatures of habit after all.  After the 4th and 5th time though, I was just embarrassed......for myself.  I had to get my fix so I went to one of my coworkers and hijacked her for her BB.  She has the Tour as well so that was even better.  I made my usual internet rounds and all was well again.  (Sidebar: We're WebSensed from damn near everything at work so I have to get my digital fix via my cell phone.)  My wife, knowing how addicted I am, was sure to bring the phone when she picked me up from work.  I snatched it from her like a rabid dog being fed a piece of chicken.

Plus 1,000 douche bag points for me when I realized that I missed pretty much NOTHING.  Shoutout to Burger though!  She was the only person to BBM me today. 

* Look at the picture.  I still have the original damn plastic on the screen and I got this phone back in November!  Don't bite my theme swag either.